Customer Copy: a passive-aggressive customer service poem

Reciept Poem

Receipt poem:

It’s pretty obvious so I’m not going to make you guess where I found this week’s poem, which I’m titling “Customer Copy”.

Have you ever fully read the stuff at the bottom/on the back of your receipts? It comes off to me as hella patronizing. “HOW ARE WE DOING?” they ask, followed by a link to a store survey. Do I ever really tell the pissed-off cashier who refused to scan my online coupon how I think they’re doing? Of course not. Does anyone? Needless to say, I pulled the 18 or so receipts I’ve been collecting and found the perfect phrases to make the perfect passive aggressive customer service poem.

I’ve been intrigued by receipts lately. And not in some deep, oh-what-a-consumerist-capitalist-culture-we-live-in kind of way, I’m just interested in what they’ve come to mean for me personally.
At this stage in my life as a college student, I’ve come to the point where I’m very concerned about money. Before this time I rarely ever kept my receipts. In fact, they rarely made it home from the store (and if I wanted to return something it was kinda just too bad… but I never learned my lesson). Now, with a job, savings, loans and all the other “adult responsibilities” that have been thrust upon me without my consent, I have to keep track of my dang spending.

I find treatment of receipts to be quite telling of how a person’s life is going. I have a friend who NEVER throws any of them away, choosing instead to collect them in a cubby in her desk. I call that over-cautious. My other friend allows them to pool at the bottom of her purse and become last-minute gum wrappers until she has to fish one out to remember what exactly is this charge on my account from last Tuesday????? I call that distress. Me, I buy things and then regret it (but still really want to keep it…you know?) so I shove the receipts under Azeala (my typewriter) and pretend they don’t exist. I call that denial  positive thinking.

I’m usually pretty good at saving money, so the more receipts I have at the end of the week mean either A) I had a good bit of spending money left over or B) HELP I SHOULDN’T BE DOING THIS. More often than not, it’s the latter.

What about you guys? How’s your budgeting? In what ways do you put your receipts to use? I’d love to know in the comments..

Going on the search for next week’s poem now, maybe I’ll find it in all my purchases. A brand names poem. An instructions-for-use poem.  Till next time.

Stay Pofound,

Jae

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2 thoughts on “Customer Copy: a passive-aggressive customer service poem

  1. I too save receipts from purchases. Why? I’m glad you asked but I have no clue. Most of my weekly purchases are on fast food, gas and occasional trips to Walmart. I’m one who’s very “tight” when it comes money. Besides my food, gas and Walmart purchases my money sits in the bank. So I would say I’m great at budgeting money.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. As a true adult with a job…receipts become mundane…if I had to keep a receipt, I didn’t need to make the purchase in the first place. Buy what you need and not what your heart desires.

    Like

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